The Candy Hierarchy of Trick-or-Treating

Hocus Pocus – Perhaps my Favorite Movie!

I didn’t Trick-or-Treat as a kid. We did church Hallelujah nights, Trunk-or-Treating, that sort of thing – although at least I was allowed to dress up. But what those events always had in ample supply was the good stuffy – candy!

What kid doesn’t love to fill a bag full of chocolately goodness and take it home to gorge on?

Well, I guess that kid was me.

I never ate tons of candy on Halloween night – or the day after. I liked to save my candy and allow it to last as long as possible. I would hide it in my closet, eating one – perhaps two – pieces each day, loving the knowledge that my little brother had run out of his own stash by November 1st, but I was well on my way to enjoying candy until our Christmas stockings were stuffed! (Him stealing my hoard is another matter, entirely).

As I mentioned above, my favorites were of the chocolate variety. And they still are!

Now that I’m all grown up and get to pass out the candy myself, I want to make sure that my house has the good stuff. After much thought and a little research I’ve found that there is a hierarchy to Halloween candy, and you can be sure I’m going to pass out the goodies that top the list!

Top Tier – Known as the “Big 5”

  1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
  2. Snickers
  3. Kit Kat
  4. Twix
  5. Peanut M&Ms

Second Tier – Other Chocolately Goodness

  1. Milky Way
  2. Three Muskateer
  3. Butterfinger
  4. Almond Joys
  5. Mounds

Third Tier – Unappreciated Chocolates

  1. Baby Ruth
  2. Rolos
  3. Reese’s Pieces
  4. 100 Grand
  5. Anything else resembling Chocolate

Fourth Tier – Fruit All Stars

  1. Skittles
  2. Starburst

Bottom Rung – Hard to Chew and A bit Outdated

  1. Milk Duds
  2. Now n’Laters
  3. Bit-O-Honey
  4. Tootsie Rolls
  5. “Peanut Butter” confections wrapped in wax paper

Have I left anything out? There are obviously more Bottom Rung candies that I haven’t mentioned. These can’t even be deemed worthy to me. Smarties? Lollipops? How can these possibly compare with CHOCOLATE?!

Now that I’ve talked about all this, I think I’ll go and try to find something a bit more Primal in my Pantry…Dark Chocolate and Almond Butter, anyone?


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