Resisting, Fighting, Dreading, and Dreaming

Now that the days have become months – the months turning into half a year’s worth of time – I find myself at a standstill. Do I want changes?

I certainly NEED changes. Something has to change within me, because the day-to-day has become something of a hindrance. There is always the thought of what I SHOULD be doing – what I should be making, creating, earning. I need something to occupy my time other than my own thoughts and quirks.

But I also resist that change. Why give up what is so obviously a good thing?

As of right now, perhaps it’s because I feel I’m not succeeding in the here and now. I’m not earning my keep, contributing to society, leaving a lasting impression on anything – not even myself.

Yes, a change is needed. But what…and how?


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